Is it necessary?

"Every single day I try to figure out something I no longer agree to do. You get to change your mind—your parents may have accidentally forgotten to mention this to you. I cross one thing off the list of projects I mean to get done that day.  [For example,] no woman over the age of 40 should ever help anyone move, ever again, under any circumstances. You have helped enough. You can say no. No is a complete sentence. Or you might say, "I can't help you move because of certain promises I have made to myself, but I would be glad to bring sandwiches and soda to everyone on your crew at noon."  (Anne Lamott)

Back in the 80's Time magazine ran a cover story on time.  They described life in the 80's as a rat race that was "wearing everybody out, wrecking families, and destroying marriages."  How much more have we busied our lives since then!  Exhaustion has become the norm.  We have become deceived into thinking that fast moving, hurried, full lives will provide the significance we desire.

The first official day of summer was only last week, but I'm going to go ahead and claim that I've found my favorite summer book.  I'm reading "Gift from the Sea" by Anne Morrow Lindbergh with a group of friends and I'm finding it challenging, inspiring and just lovely.

In Chapter two, titled "Channelled Whelk," Lindbergh plunges into the topic of simplification.  "Life today in America is based on the premise of ever-widening circles of contact and communication.  It is not the life of simplicity but the life of multiplicity that the wise men warn us of.  It leads not to unification but to fragmentation.  It does not bring grace; it destroys the soul."

She urges us "to ask how little, not how much, [one] can get along with.  To say - "is it necessary? - when [you] are tempted to add one more accumulation to your life, when you are pulled toward one more activity." 

We have just kicked off a year of talking about rest, considering what it means to choose moments of solitude in the midst of busy, noisy, chaotic life.  I'm no genius, but I'm finally getting the hang of addition and subtraction when it comes to my calendar.  If I want to add something, I must take away something else.  There are only so many slices of pie.  (Anyone's mind jump to Mama Ricotta's Nutella Pie?  Me neither.)  We must learn to say no.  "You say it by placing the tip of your tongue on the ridge of your mouth right behind your front teeth, then verbalizing the vowel "O" through your nose.  NNnnoooo" (Max Anders).

Lindbergh recognizes that certain practices are more conducive to a simplified life: "There are techniques of living, there are even techniques in the search for grace.  And techniques can be cultivated."  Those of use who were at the retreat this spring heard Danetta, the speaker, urge us to become excellent at saying no.  She even dared us to never say yes without praying about it first.  This technique does not come easily, it must be cultivated.  Danetta urged us to practice, as she spouted off a string of creative ways to say no, such as:

I love that you thought of me!  Will you ask again another time?

I need some time to pray about that.
I'll call you when I'm able to do that.

I'm focusing on other things right now.

I'm not sure I'm the best person for that (project, etc).

I don't want to hold you up, so feel free to ask someone else.

I'm not taking on anything new right now.

I can't do that, but I'd be glad to do (this other thing).

I can't give you my best right now, so I'll say no.

Now's not good, let's look at a different week/month/season.

I can't because I am trying hard to carve out times of solitude.

Jen Wilkin wrote a great blog post this week about rest:

"Here is a remarkable thing about the Christian faith: we have a God who commands us to rest. Our God commands us to hold still, to cease from labor, to actively enter into repose – not merely as a means to regain our strength, but as an act of worship.  The gods of other religions and the god of self, these demand ceaseless toil. To please these gods, worshippers work incessantly at the business of self-denial, approval-seeking, pilgrimage - repeated rites that strive to prove the worth of the supplicant and earn the favor of the deity.  Those who seek the approval of lesser gods commit themselves to a course of utter exhaustion.  But not the Christian. In our obedient observance of rest, the work of our Savior is understood most clearly. We rest not as an attempt to earn his approval, but as an assent that his approval has already been earned in the sun-going-down, Sabbath-initiating work of Christ on the cross. Christ worked that we may rest. He, in a gathering dusk, exhaled the first note of a blood-bought chorus of infinite rest."

Lindbergh concludes this chapter by reminding us that "simplification of outward life is not enough.  It is merely the outside.  It is only a technique, a road to grace."  We can begin with the outside.  We can ask the challenging question - Is it necessary?  We can create space and time to still our souls and connect with Jesus.  But He alone can provide the order, peace, significance, transformation and freedom we long for.  The invitation is there.  His offer of rest is available.

Daughter of the king, he is calling your name.  He is waiting.  Look at the dozens of things clamoring for your attention today.  Life will try to demand one more thing of you, stealing your solitude, gobbling up the time He desires to spend with you. Put on your big girl face, look that demand square in the eye and ask, "Is it necessary?"

written by: Libba Armenta

Meet Steph Vander Lugt!

We are thrilled to welcome Stephanie Vander Lugt into our community of Warehouse 242 women.  Perhaps you've seen her on a Sunday or met her at one of the Living Room Conversations?  She's engaging, lovely, sincere, and knocking it out of the park when it comes to remembering all of our faces and names! 

She graciously agreed to a little Q&A to share some bits and pieces of her story with us. Without further ado, meet Steph:

What does your timeline look like from 2003-2013? 

2003 - Graduate high school in St Louis, MO. Start college at Covenant College, Lookout Mt, GA.

2004 - Meet Wes at college (he was four years ahead of me, just about to graduate), we start dating.

2005 - Still studying (History) at Covenant College. Get engaged to Wes.

2006 - Finish at Covenant College. Move back to St Louis, Marry Wes! Start seminary in St Louis.

2007 - Studying theology at Seminary.

2008 - Graduated from Seminary, moved to Mexico to work with Armonía.

2009 - Working with Armonia until September when we moved to St Andrews, Scotland.

2009-2012 - Living in St Andrews, contributing to a church plant, working in Dundee with young survivors of abuse, running a violence and abuse prevention program.

2012 - Eden is born in April in Dundee, Scotland.

2013 - Wes finishes Ph.D, move to Charlotte!

How and when did you and Wes meet?

We met in college (I was a 17-year-old freshman, he was a senior) at a Christmas caroling event that Wes was leading. I kept teasing him with some flirtatious banter because he was starting all of the songs way too high (he is a tenor), and I thought he was cute. Finally the flirting led to an actual introduction, but right after I said "Hi, I'm Stephanie," I ran into a mailbox. Smooth. It is unclear whether it was the knock to the head or the embarrassment, but I didn't actually remember Wes after that night, but he remembered me and started a gentle but persistent persual. We got to know each other better through the social dance club where we started training for an Argentine Tango showcase performance. We casually dated until the Spring of my freshman year, when Wes talked to my dad and made it official. We were engaged a year later, and married a year after that right after I graduated college.

Tell us a bit about your job and daily life in St Andrews.

I spent the first 6 months in St Andrews working for a start-up restaurant/bar in the town while I did a more extensive job search. Those first 6 months we commuted to St Andrews on bike (about 5 miles each way often in blinding head-winds, snow, ice, and sideways rain. My skin got tough). After 6 months we found a tiny little studio flat (like, kitchenette in the corner, bed flips down from the wall, 168 square feet kind of place), and I also started a new job in Dundee (about 15 miles away) with an organization called Eighteen and Under where I did support work with survivors of abuse and also ran a violence and abuse prevention program in schools all around Scotland. During my years at Eighteen and Under, every week looked different but I was often in a different school each day, all over the central belt of Scotland. I enjoyed working with the communities - some were very rural, some urban, some in small towns. It was meaningful work to participate with these communities in combatting violence and abuse. After a year in the tiny flat we moved into a larger flat with another couple who are good friends, and enjoyed communal living and a bit more space.

After Eden was born (April 2012) I left the job in Dundee and worked for our church in St Andrews as a youth worker. This involved running a community youth club, developing the mentoring program for teenage girls, chaplaincy work in the local high schools, and so much more. 

Living in St Andrews was enchanting. The beach was a 5 minute walk away. My daily run was along the Fife coastal path - a place that sometimes made me think of Neverland, it was so beautiful. Everything was within walking distance, in fact. My walk to the grocery store included a little saunter by the ancient cathedral ruins. As a university town and popular destination for tourists, our friends and acquaintances came from around the world and contributed to a very rich community for us.

We enjoyed lots of travelling around Scotland, the UK, and Europe which was about as great as it sounds!

Other than getting married and having a daughter, what has been the most defining event in your adult life?

Wow, that is a good question and really hard to answer in terms of one event. The best I can do is probably to say that living in Mexico and Scotland were the most defining "events." Even though they are more than events, they are more like seasons.

Are you a Lion, Otter, Golden Retriever or Beaver? 

Looks like I am Otter with Golden Retriever coming in second, then Lion, then Beaver :)

(Otters are optimistic, energetic, motivators, future oriented, outgoing, responsive, friendly, talkative, enthusiastic & compassionate.  If you've never taken this personality test, check it out! http://smalley.cc/images/Personality-Test1.pdf)

You find yourself free as a bird on a Saturday.  No Wes, no Eden.  How do you spend the day?

Sleep in. Leisurely breakfast of eggs, toast, fruit, yoghurt, and tea with my Bible. Outing in the morning for some shopping, preferably thrift or craft stores, lunch out with some friends. To the pool to catch some rays, along with my book and journal. Swim laps. Home for a tea break followed by some time with my piano/guitar. Long leisurely bath with my book again. Salad for dinner. Meet friends out or in for drinks and banter. Gee, that sounds nice! 

Where there are Warehouse women, there are often delicious treats.  Where do you fall: savory or sweet tooth?  What is your favorite thing to cook?

I do like some sweets, but savory would win for me. I like to cook soups, curries, and seafood.

What did hearing God's call to come to Charlotte look like for you?

It was a process for sure. Wes and I submitted each step of the application and interview process to prayer and lots of discussion and talking with people we love and trust, and kept receiving pretty overwhelming confirmation. I surprised myself because a year ago you would have heard me tell you that I wasn't ready to move back to America. But I can say with certainty now that God led us here and I am blessed to be here.

When and where have you experienced the most life-giving connections with a group of women?

My friends in St Andrews. These ladies seriously inspire me. Not only did I enjoy good Christian fellowship and encouragement, but also was inspired by their hearts and minds that were prepared for action. I had such a profound time spending time with these ladies, but also 'working' with them, using our gifts and collaboration to do all kinds of projects (like start a social enterprise cafe in St Andrews, run a weekly soup and roll lunch for isolated senior citizens in the community, develop a mentoring program for teen girls, services for kids and youth people in the town, and much more!).

What rhythms or practices help you to create pause in your life and connect with Jesus?

This might sound silly, but tea. I usually take a tea break in the morning and in the afternoon, and usually at nap time :). This helps me to stop, pause, reflect, pray, read my Bible, write in my journal, read my book, play some music, do a bit of yoga, just sit, chat with a friend (not all at once, but whatever is fitting to that moment!). You will certainly learn this about me, but I love tea. It slows me down, it is hospitable, I love the ritual of it. It counteracts the temptation to continue in the hectic busyness without reflecting. The tea break may not be long, but there is usually one in every day.

If you had to choose a theme word to describe your hopes and vision for this year of your life, what would it be?  

Ooh, I am bad at this, but I will try. Maybe I would choose the word 'peace.' For a while I have been reflecting on what it means to cultivate a holistically peaceable life - toward myself, friends, family, home, neighborhood, the earth, my vocation, and to be an agent for peace, especially in places where there is not much peace at all. This is, of course, all sourced by the Prince of Peace.

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Let's pray with Steph, that she would experience God's peace and pleasure in the midst of this season of change.  As we have been discussing over the past year, while the journey is unpredictable, He is not.  Let's pray that Steph would experience unprecedented peace as she rests in the settled, demonstrated goodness of Jesus, who called her to himself, and who called her family to Warehouse.

Steph, we are so glad God has brought your family to Charlotte, to join and lead our community.  It is our hope that you will be truly known and truly loved by our women.  We are en route together, and we are excited you are now traveling with us.  We look forward to learning from you and with you, being transformed, becoming free, and living freely and lightly as we keep company with Jesus and journey together.  And we promise...there will be many cups of tea!

written by: Libba Armenta

Next En Route :: July 17th

In late April at the Women's Retreat, surrounded by the breathtaking beauty of God's creation, we began a conversation about rest.  We hope you left our weekend together feeling hopeful of the invitation to keep company with Jesus.  He offers us Himself and in that, He offers us rest.  Real rest.  The unforced rhythms of grace.  Life that can be lived freely and lightly.  

From now until next spring, we want to keep this conversation going.  We want to be women that keep company with Jesus.  Our culture is so noisy and busy that we think it takes intentionality to push against that and create a new rhythm.  A rhythm of pause and a continual coming to Jesus...to anchor there and make Him our home.  So over the next 10 months, we intend for En Route to be a time and space for us to cultivate together rhythms of rest.  We are excited about all we have planned for the next year!  

To kick things off, we will have our first En Route for this new season, Wednesday evening, July 17th. It is going to be a fun one!  Jenn Jamsky and the women of Improv Charlotte are going to be performing for us, so it will be an evening of a lot of laughter.  Afterwards we will have a game night (probably pictionary-telephone, a retreat classic) providing more opportunity for laughter and connection with one another.  This will be a great opportunity to invite a friend to experience community.  Our gathering will be in the coffee room at Warehouse 242, and childcare will be available upon request.  Mark it on your calendar now!

Questions? You can always email us anytime at women@warehouse242.org